Letting Go
by i-can-see-the-stars
Summary: Seth made a mistake, and he has to face the consequences, no matter how painful. Ambrolleigns with implications of Sub!Roman.


completely in love with the idea of sub!roman, and this is what came out of it.

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><p>Seth smiled as he ran his hand through Roman's hair. The bigger man's head was laid on Seth's chest, his fingers idly tracing light patterns across Seth's belly. Dean was plastered to Roman's back with a strong arm wrapped around his waist, already snoring softly. They'd just finished up <em>celebrating<em> their win at Payback. Poor Roman was the sorest out of all of them; his back was practically mangled by kendo sticks. He'd gotten real insecure about them when Dean and Seth had tried to take care of them, saying that the bruises messed up the way he looked and that he wasn't pretty enough for Dean and Seth.

For being such a big, dominant guy in the ring, Roman was the most sensitive and submissive person Dean and Seth had ever met. Which led to both men kicking themselves for not being able to help Roman as he was getting the shit beat out of him by Evolution. The fact that they'd had Roman in a very similar position before (kneeling, bent over, wrists pinned down) led the two men to believe that their precious sub was mildly traumatized. Yet, that was never going to stop Roman from doing anything. He'd made it his life goal to please Seth and Dean as much as humanly possible.

Seth let his hand settle on the back of Roman's neck, his fingers brushing over that little spot behind Roman's ear that made him smile and shy away; big man was ticklish. Roman smiled softly and buried his face in Seth's neck, mumbling incoherently.

"What was that?"

"Tickles," Roman whispers, acknowledging the fact that his other dom was asleep.

Seth chucked quietly and kissed Roman's forehead. Roman made a soft, sighing noise and buried his face in Seth's neck once more. The two-toned man let his eyes drift shut briefly, his mind racing a million miles a minute. He didn't want to do what he was going to do. He'd ruin everything. Dean would be fine, but Roman, not so much.

Seth was Roman's fucking sun, moon, and stars. He was Seth's sub first, and Dean finally agreed to get in on it after a few months. He wasn't nearly as close to Roman as Seth was, but Seth could see the beginnings of something beautiful blooming; he could see the love in Dean's eyes when he looked at Roman. Seth knew his eyes held the same love when he looked at his sub. But he knew Roman's eyes weren't going to possess that admiration after Monday.

"Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right? Like, I really, really fucking do."

Seth could feel Roman's brows furrowing against his skin. "Of course, and I love you too," He said softly. "Why'd you ask?"

"Just wanted to make sure you remembered," Seth gave Roman a small squeeze and another kiss on the forehead.

"Yeah, yeah, we all love each other, now shut the fuck up and go to sleep," Dean pinched both Roman and Seth's hips, earning a quiet whimper from Roman - Dean had pinched a bruise - and a smack from Seth.

"Fuck you, Dean, I'm trying to be romantic," Seth pinched Dean's shoulder, just for extra measure, and closed his eyes, feeling a familiar and unwelcome lump rise in his throat.

* * *

><p>"How do you feel about Roman?"<p>

The question was odd, and sudden, and the look of confusion Dean sent Seth's way was more than obvious. They were driving to the next town, to RAW, with Dean driving, Seth in the passenger seat, and Roman drifting between concious and unconcious in the backseat. Currently, he was on the right side of unconcious.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, glancing over at Seth once more. "Like, do I love him? Is that what you're asking?"

"Yeah, I guess," Seth says softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just wanted to know, because he really loves you."

"Well, yeah, of course I love him, he's kind of my everything," Dean says, acting as if it wasn't a big deal that he'd stepped over a huge relationship barrier, and Roman wasn't even aware of it. "You are too, you know."

"I'm what?"

"My everything."

Seth nods numbly, willing the aching in his chest to go away. "I don't think you can have two everythings, though."

"Alright, fine," Dean sighs, taking one hand off the wheel and moving it around, like he did when he talked, only he wasn't talking just yet. "So, let's say my everything is a circle, one half of the circle is for Roman, and the other half's for you," Dean shrugged like he was done, but he snapped his fingers as he, seemingly, remembered something. "Oh, and wrestling is in there too. It's like, a small sliver, and it's in your half, because Roman is important, not that I don't love you."

_What_.

Dean was strange. Not a lunatic. Not crazy. Just..._weird_. He could go from wanting to rip someone's leg off and shove it down their throat to being a fucking philosophy teacher. He wore hoodies in 80 degree weather. He also had a really weird tolerance for gas station food, which puzzled Seth and Roman, but they never questioned it. He thought up the oddest things, but they always made sense, in a twisted sort of way.

"Yeah, alright, that makes sense."

"Long story short," Dean says, reaching over and taking one of Seth's hands in his. "I love you two, you got that?"

Seth nodded and glanced back at Roman. He was still asleep. He looked peaceful and happy. It broke Seth's heart to know that he was about to ruin it.

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><p>Those weren't tears in Roman's eyes. He was playing up the chair shot. <em>Those weren't tears.<em>

Seth wasn't looking forward to how Dean was going to react. Dean wasn't going to be angry about Seth's betrayal though, no, he was going to be angry about Seth hurting Roman. Seth tried to act nonchalant as he made his way backstage, but once he was there, he was stuck to a monitor. Roman and Dean were struggling to get up, and Seth winced as he saw Roman's beautiful skin already being marred by ugly, painful-looking bruises.

Just as Seth had assumed, Dean wasn't letting anybody touch Roman. The big man's eyes were glued to the ground as Dean pulled him along. Seth knew that look; Roman thought he'd done something wrong.

Seth tried to follow his men to their locker room, but Hunter held him back because they had to do an interview. If looks could kill, Renee would've been dead before Seth's interview was even over. Seth practically sprinted to The Shield's locker room, throwing himself through the door with enough force to almost knock himself down. Roman was sitting on a bench, his head down, his hair curtaining his face. Dean was crouched down in front of him, holding Roman's hands and whispering something Seth couldn't quite make out. Seth squeezed his eyes shut as he heard a sob that _did not fucking come from Roman._

"Seth, I swear to god, if you don't get the fuck out right now, I'll kill you." Dean's voice held enough venom to make Randy Orton flinch.

"Dean, I know you're angry, but-"

"But _what_?" Dean yelled, placing a hand on Roman's knee as he flinched. Dean turned toward Seth, looking up at him with nothing but pure, unadulterated disgust. "You wanna rub you leaving in our faces? Break our hearts even further? Why don't you get lost, asshole."

Seth walked toward them slowly, like he was approaching an animal. "No. I wanted to explain myself, can I do that?"

"There's nothing to explain."

"God dammit, Dean, can I at least talk to Roman?" Seth hated raising his voice, but it was his only option.

Dean sighed and pushed Roman's hair out of his face, the two seemingly communicating without saying anything. Dean placed a hand on Roman's face, Roman's hand coming up to cover Dean's. His smile was weak, but it was a smile. Dean sighed once more and nodded, turning around to face Seth again.

"I hope you feel really fuckin' bad after this," Dean muttered, standing up and walking over to the door. He didnt leave, he just stood.

Seth walked to Roman and crouched down in front of him. He reached up to touch Roman, but Roman flinched away. _That_ didn't hurt at all.

"Baby, I'm sorry."

"You aren't."

"I am."

Roman didn't say anything for a while. He pushed his hair off his face and looked to the side, and then to the other side, and then up to Dean, and then to the floor. He didn't want to look at Seth. Though, Seth could still see tears shining in Roman's grey eyes.

"What did I do?" It came out in the softest whisper Seth had ever heard.

"Roman, you didn't do anything, babe."

"Then why'd you turn on us? Are you punishing me?" Roman was talking a bit louder, and he finally looked up at Seth. His face was wet.

"No, of course not."

Roman looked away from Seth once more. This time, Seth saw the tears falling, and heard another one of those fucking sobs. Roman was generally a silent crier, so it hurt that much more for Seth to see his sub shedding those tears.

"You can get the fuck out now." Dean said flatly.

Seth nodded and stood up, but he stopped to kiss Roman's forehead. Roman jerked away from his lips like they were hurting him. Seth tried to kiss Dean, too, but he moved away before Seth could touch him.

About an hour later, Seth was in the car with Antonio, scrolling through his twitter feed. Thankfully, Antonio didn't question him about his actions. Seth wasn't sure if he'd be able to say anything. His scrolling was absent-minded at best, until he saw a picture that practically made his heart stop. He tapped it, Roman's beautiful back covered in bruises and welts taking up his entire screen. Seth felt sick. He was about to press the home button, until he saw the caption.

_**Trust is completely dead to me.**_

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><p>They were so happy. Seth could see it. Dean was in love with Roman, only a blind man couldn't see it, and even then, they'd probably be able to hear it. Dean was always telling Roman how much he loved him. Everyone was generally pretty cool with Roman and Dean being together, but really, everyone was already expecting it. Their chemistry was amazing, inside and out of the ring.<p>

What wasn't so plain to see, though, was how much Roman needed to hear that he was loved. Seth's betrayal hit him hard, and judging by the occasional snarky, passing comments from Dean ("You fucked up, dipshit."; "Hope you're happy, dickwad."), he wasn't too happy about it either. But really, how could someone be happy after getting dumped via chair shot? It was like text-dumping, only it was seven thousand times worse and it left marks.

Seth worried about them sometimes. Dean hadn't had as much time with Roman as Seth had. While Dean was no novice in being a dom or taking care of a sub, Seth knew it was uncharted territory. Roman had tendencies, and he had needs, and he liked certain things and he didn't like certain things, and Dean _never_ paid attention to aftercare. Yet he knew they were perfectly fine. If there was something wrong, Dean would've come to Seth, because Roman means that much to him.

They just didn't miss him.

"Rollins."

"Hm," Seth's head snapped over to where Randy was standing, the older man looking annoyed beyond compare.

"I thought you broke up with them?" Randy asks.

"Guess not."

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><p><em>A movie<em>.

He was doing a fucking _movie_.

He was leaving Roman. _Alone_.

How the _fuck_ could he do that?

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, Seth, I'm not," Dean sounded tired, but his voice was rushed. "Look, he doesn't know yet. But you need to, fuck, Seth, just look out for him, okay?"

"I was gonna do it whether or not you wanted me to," Seth replies, running a hand through his hair.

Dean lets out a breath. "Thank you."

"I love you guys, Dean," Seth says. "I'd do anything for you guys."

"Don't."

"Dean, I'm not lying-"

"You've fucked him up, you know that?" Dean asks bitterly, his voice rising with every word. "You know how much he loved you? And then you left us. Now he's all paranoid, thinks I'm gonna leave him too, and I have to tell him that I'm in a god damn movie now, _fuck_."

Seth sighed and placed a hand on his forehead. As if he'd forgotten. He knew Roman was going to question Dean not leaving, it was inevitable. Dean was going to be gone for at least a month, which mean Roman would be without a dom for the first time in close to two years. Which was much, much worse than Seth not having a sub for the first time in almost 2 years, but Seth still took pity on himself.

"I know," Seth mumbled.

"You aren't allowed to touch him unless he gives you permission. Do everything he tells you to. Until I get back, you're his bitch, you got that?" Dean's voice would drift away from the phone every now and then, and Seth could tell he was packing.

Seth really shouldn't have laughed at the thought of being Roman's bitch.

"Don't you fucking laugh, Seth, if you-"

"No, no, I'm not laughing," He was chuckling because Dean's sense of humor hadn't faltered one bit. "Alright, so, I'm basically a babysitter?"

"I wouldn't say you're a babysitter, more like someone to, y'know, keep him grounded," Dean says. "He needs someone. He isn't in the best place, Seth."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

Seth sighs again. "Wait, so, what are they doing with the storyline? Just gonna drop it?"

"Nah, you're getting rid of me," Dean says, and Seth knows he's doing that fly-swatting thing with his hand. "And they're gonna finish up Rome's feud with Randy, so you and him can start your thing."

"We're feuding?"

"Well, yeah," Dean says. "You do some underhanded shit to me and he starts some "unfinished business" shit with you after I leave."

"Alright," Seth breathes out. He could feel his heart speeding up.

He had to feud with Roman. His Roman, well, _used_ to be his Roman. His beautiful, amazing submissive that he turned his back on. Seth was a lot more scared than he wanted to be. Roman was way bigger than him, and he could easily rip Seth to pieces if he wanted to. That is, if he could bring himself to do it.

He could still be in that sub mentality. He could still believe that Seth was his dom, and he'd flinch away if Seth swung or he could refuse to hit him. Seth didn't want that. He doubted it would happen, but there was always a possibility.

"Shit, alright, I gotta go-" Dean hung up just as he heard Roman say, 'What are you doing?'

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><p>To knock or not to knock, that was the question. Really, Seth could just go busting in there without prior word, and Roman couldn't do a damn thing. Then Seth remembered that Roman wasn't his anymore. He knocked three times and waited, hearing Roman call out 'come in' a few moments later.<p>

Roman really should've had a shirt on. And a belt. His cargo pants clung amazingly to his legs, but they also hung incredibly low on his hips. Oh, and he was bent over, too.

"Uh, hey, ba-" No, Seth. "Roman."

Roman stood up and looked over his shoulder at Seth. "Hi."

He was so beautiful. Seth fucked up, bad. "So, uh...you okay?"

Roman raised an eyebrow at him, his lips twisting into something akin to a grimace. "Fine."

"You need anything?"

"No."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Extremely."

"I'm sorry."

"Cool."

"I love you."

"Mhm."

Seth wasn't getting anywhere with Roman. It was pretty obvious. It didn't stop him at all, though. He walked up to Roman, who was still facing away from him, and placed a hand on the small of his back. Roman tensed, but didn't move away. Seth didn't see this as breaking Dean's rules. By 'no touching' he meant, 'don't try to have sex with him,' which Seth clearly wasn't doing.

"You know I never meant to hurt you, Roman," Seth says softly, standing directly behind Roman and placing his hands on his hips. "I really, really love you."

"Apparently not, if you were willing to leave us," Roman says flatly, shoving Seth's arms off of him. Had they still been together, Roman would be getting punished. "I don't even get why Dean left you with me. I'm a grown man, I can take care of myself."

"Dean said you were in a bad place."

"Well, think of it this way," Roman turned around, and all Seth wanted to do was trace that gorgeous chest tattoo. "Your best friend, your partner, your dominant, makes a career-alerting decision without talking to his boys first," Roman crosses his arms over his chest. "You wouldn't be in the best condition, now would you?"

Seth shook his head. "We're gonna be fighting."

"I know," Roman says, turning around and grabbing something out of his bag. "I get to beat the living hell out of you on live television. I'm fucking ecstatic."

Three months ago, Roman wouldn't have said something like that if you threatened him. He would never, ever, ever consider hurting either Dean or Seth, no matter how angry he was. But, you know, Seth isn't Roman's dom anymore, and he can do whatever he wants. It's still a foreign feeling for Seth to not be treated like a dominant. While Roman's back was turned to him, Seth glanced at his neck.

They weren't too big on the idea of collaring Roman ("He isn't a fucking dog, Seth."), so they ended up just getting Roman a necklace instead. It was really just dog tags, but they had Seth and Dean's names on them. Seth saw a chain that looked exactly like the one they gave Roman, and for a fleeting second, Seth thought they'd held onto a piece of him.

Until Roman turned around again.

There it was, the same exact chain, with only one tag. With Dean's name. No Seth. Just Dean.

"You kept the tags," Seth says quietly, taking a few steps back from Roman.

"What? Oh, yeah," Roman says, grabbing the tag. "Well, one of 'em."

Seth nodded and backed up until his back hit the door. He grabbed blindly for the handle and twisted it, slipping out of the locker room.

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><p>"Roman, get your ass over here!"<p>

Roman just spared a glance over his shoulder and continued walking to his locker room. Seth was seething, apparently embarrassed by...whatever Roman had done. Seth wasn't even sure why he was so angry. Roman was just being a bit cockier than usual, nothing Seth wasn't used to. Yet, he wasn't allowed to handle it anymore. It wasn't his responsibility.

As soon as he was in the locker room, Seth had Roman by the back of the vest, shoving him into the nearest wall. Seth was plastered to Roman's back soon after, his lips right next to Roman's ear.

"What the fuck was that, huh?" Seth growled, tangling one of his hands in Roman's hair and yanking his head back. "You gonna answer me, you little bitch?"

Roman made some low, guttural noise, and had Seth pinned against the wall in about three seconds. Seth hadn't seen him move as fast as he didn't in that moment. "Did you forget something, baby?" Roman asks, grabbing Seth's wrists and pinning them to the wall as well. "Things don't work that way anymore."

Seth squirmed against Roman. While it felt good to have Roman pressed against him again, it was strange to not be in control. The wall was pressing almost painfully into Seth's back, and if he didn't know any better, he'd think Roman was trying to squish him.

"You left me. You let me go. You chose to not have me as a sub anymore. But, you know what? I don't care."

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><p>"You need to take it easy, Roman."<p>

Seth was sitting in a chair beside Roman's bed, had been for almost two hours, but the uncomfortable plastic seat was the least of his concerns. Roman's surgery had gone great, but six weeks at a minimum? Roman would end up offing himself before he missed six weeks of wrestling.

"You say it as if I purposefully did this," Roman responds, reaching up to brush some stray hairs out of his face. Seth beat him to it, though, and the slight fluttering of Roman's eyelids had Seth's heart skipping a beat.

"Just don't do anything that'll hurt you again," Seth says, taking his hand off Roman's face and holding the hand nearest to him. "I don't wanna see you get injured."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Alright, mom, I'll be sure to do that," He chuckles, but gives Seth's hand a light squeeze. "Hey."

Seth looks up, fighting the urge to kiss the man in front of him when he sees Roman smiling.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Helping me. Being here. And, y'know, still loving me."

"I've always loved you," Seth says.

"I know," Roman's smile fades away slowly. "I've been a dick to you, but you've voluntarily looked after me, and you still fucking care about me, after all of this."

"You know as well as anybody that I'd never stop loving you," Seth places his free hand on Roman's face, the other man leaning into his touch. "Never forget that."

Roman's smile returns, albeit a small smile, but still a smile. Seth strokes his cheek with his thumb, watching as Roman's eyes drift shut. It was a strange sense of déjà vu for Seth. Roman opened his eyes again and looked right up at Seth. His gaze drifted down at Seth's lips, and if it wasn't a request for Seth to kiss him, Seth didn't know what was. He began to lean in, but jerked away from Roman as the door opened.

"One of these days, you're gonna give me a heart attack, I swear."

Seth's only instinct was to back up as Dean walked in, straight up to Roman, capturing the other man's face in his hands and kissing him without hesitation. After a good thirty seconds of kissing that had turned into full-on face sucking, Seth looked away from the couple. Dean managed to pull away from Roman eventually, leaning down and burying his face in Roman's neck.

"I love you so fucking much, baby boy," He mumbles, leaning up and pecking Roman's lips again. "Oh, hey, Seth."

Seth smiled and stood up, hands in his pockets. "Hey," He muttered, watching as Dean kissed Roman once more. "I'm gonna go, now that you two are, uh...together."

"Wait," Dean pulled away from Roman, standing up and walking over to Seth. "Um...thank you. For, y'know..."

"Yeah," Seth nodded. "No problem," He looks over at Roman, the other man smiling at him. "Get better quick, you owe me a match."

"Will do."

As soon as the door closed behind him, Seth sunk to the floor, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears.

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><p>somebody please shoot me. this got way out of hand, i apologize. hope everyone enjoyed this! reviews are welcomed with open arms.<p> 


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